You know that person who is all or nothing and it has to be PERFECT. Ugh...I have come understand that part of my self. Also have come to understand, THIS is not really working so well for me any more.
Ha! Does it ever?
So, on my path I have started to understand that it is not about perfection.
I think about this when someone comments on how pretty my nails are after my vacation. Pretty and pink! And all I see are the chipped edges! Ugh! Funny, this takes me back to last year when I posted THIS....from Discovering Nicole when I was really getting in touch with who I am.
Perfection. perfection? PERFECTION!!! Hmmm...what does this mean? I have this battle raging inside me about doing things perfectly, acting perfectly, blah blah blah perfect!
What is perfection? What is perfect?
Good ol' wikipedia has a lovely dissection of the word....what struck me about it was this statement: "The word "perfection" derives from the Latin "perfectio" and "perfect" - from "perfectus" These expressions in turn come from "perficio"-- "to finish" "to bring to an end." "Perfectio(n)" thus literally means "a finishing", and "perfect(us)" - "finished", much as in grammatical parlance ("perfect"). ~wikipedia
GAH! My gut reaction was "I don't want perfection if it means the DEATH!" Yeah, the drama queen is raging. But as I settle into thinking about this...really it is about the end, the finish, the finale that is the perfect. So really there is a whole lot that has to go into perfection. Lots of prep. Lots of work. Lots of planning. Lots of doing. (Never thought about it this way!)
For me perfection is the journey. All my stumbling and discovery and MY messy life...you can read about messy pain here and finding peace here. Oh, and you want to know about my journey (or piece of it) to finding ME? Click here...no really go ahead.
Here's the thing I have come to understand this week as I thought I was going to write about loneliness vrs. being alone...ha! Really needed to come back to this piece of perfection and see that I am thrilled to be on this journey in all of its joy and wonder, pain and heartache there is so much perfection and beauty in the practice of just being.
So really it is not about the battle I have been waging inside for much of my life of being perfect or being nothing. It is about striving, doing, making progress, connecting, loving, being...perfection is the path I am walking in all of its infinite imperfection.
HA!
Isn't that just the shit?
The perfection is in the imperfection on this amazing journey we are sharing in this life.
What do you think about that?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
