Then my parents split. And a whole lot of drama ensued with my father. And, well that is a story for another time. Flash forward a few years, and, I could not wait to get a new name. I thought that somehow having a new name via marriage would make me a different person.
Funny the name change did nothing for changing who I am, what I believe or anything like that. I know shocking, right?!?!
This is about me and about my journey. I have discovered a whole lot about Nicole...you are welcome to explore the last few years here: Scoperta del Nicole .
TODAY it is...A settling into my own skin. A settling into my Enoughness. What I quickly realized is that I am still holding onto a name that is not mine. Not anymore. Hasn't been for some time. If I am being honest, it is just comfortable and easy. Well, easy and comfortable are not working for me anymore. You know, holding on for all the wrong reasons...
I kept it because I was holding onto my broken marriage. I kept it as a reminder that someone loved me enough to marry me, once. I kept it as a piece of history to beat myself up with because I let my marriage fail. Blah, blah, blah.
That is a whole lot of power I gave to a name.
A NAME!
WTF!
It's not even mine!
Letting it go!
Here I am in 2011, getting ready to dive head first into a lovely mess of paperwork to get this done. I am doing it willing and doing it because I love my mess! My friend Allison Nazarian's fabulous book called "Love Your Mess" is a great read and a great help with the mess otherwise known as your life. Check it out! I have learned that I love my mess and sometimes I have to make a bigger one in order to move on and let go fully!
Putting down Nicole Marie Willis.
Picking up/Taking Back
NICOLE MARIE BOYCE!
Oy! Now smiling, feeling lighter, happier...onto the mountain of paperwork that awaits!
What are you holding onto that you need to let go of?
6 comments:
Freakin awesome, Ms. Boyce! I was a "B" growing up, too, and miss that front-of-the-line-ness.
Beyond that, you are onto something so amazing -- your true self. It's beautiful and messy and no frickin wonder you love it -- it is ALL YOU!
This is going to be awesome to watch. WOO HOO!
xxooo
~Alli
Alli~
Thank you for your awesome support, your fabulous mess that you have shared so brilliantly and for being in my life! Thank you, thank you!
XOXOXOXO
Oh baby, I hear ya! A "b" last-namer by birth myself (Bender - yeah, LOTS to make fun of there, and trust me I've heard it all!) I couldn't stand my name - Dana Elizabeth Bender. Mostly because it didn't really feel like it was mine; like it was ME. I was adopted and had this odd perception that I was livIng someone else's life. Oddly though, I kinda grew into that name (or maybe it grew into me) because I kept it as my middle name when I got married (both times!) Now it feels right to have it. :-)
It's an amazing privilege to watch your metamorphosis Nicole. It's even more amazing to have you as a friend. Love you!
I was also a "B" growing up---Best. LOL! Love that you are doing this, and love that we both changed our Twitter handles at the same time! YOU GO, GIRL! You are the epitome of enoughness! I LOVE YOU!
Look at all the POWER-B girls! :) Love it!
A bit scared about changing my name and about changing my twitter handle! Fear that I will lose followers and that I will not be found. Working on letting it go!
Thank you for the love and support! It takes each of us time to settle into our own skin and enoughness! nice to have some fabulous friends along with me!
Love and Peace!
As unbelievable as it may sound, I was a "B" growing up also, Bolton. What I remember most is the weird guy of our class "Callahan" always seemed to sit behind me and when pillars of the community were murdered he sat there and discussed it in current events....later he was arrested for their murder...they were his grandparents! Gives me chills just remembering the whole thing.
Anyway, name change has never meant anything to me other than paperwork so if for no other reason I commend you for tackling the mounds of paperwork required to do this.
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